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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29797947">Come Back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LessaimEternel/pseuds/LessaimEternel'>LessaimEternel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band), 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fluff and Angst, I honestly don't know how to tag things, M/M, Mention of Minor Character Death, Soft romantic boys, its so sad, no beta we die like quarantined losers, there's definitely some fluff though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:13:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29797947</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LessaimEternel/pseuds/LessaimEternel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa’s voice is barely a whisper. He knows that to raise it would be all too telling, especially with the way it already catches in his throat. Any louder, and it would’ve broken. “Come back.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Come Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So... Uh, this is a little something I've been working on for well over a year. It's part of a bigger piece, ATEEZ and The Untamed fused together in a partially canon/partially original story... featuring Hongjoong as WWX and Seonghwa as LWJ. There are some references to actual characters from the drama as well as mentions of original characters. I hope you all enjoy this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa’s voice is barely a whisper. He knows that to raise it would be all too telling, especially with the way it already catches in his throat. Any louder, and it would’ve broken. “Come back.”<br/>
<br/>
His gaze softens. What is usually brilliant gold has faded to a burnished amber, tinged with a redness as if he’d been crying. He had been crying. As his words fade under the weight of the <em> dizi </em> , Seonghwa watches, time creeping by agonizingly slow, as Hongjoong flinches at the sound of his voice. A muscle in his jaw tightens, entire body going rigid under the immense desire to rush forward and pull his love into his arms and away from the edge of the perilous drop. He <em> can’t </em>. He can’t move, is unable to do anything but watch as Hongjoong starts to fall apart at the edges. <br/>
<br/>
<em>‘No. No, not again. You’re not real. Please. Please just leave me alone. Alone. Alone. Just… leave me be, please. Please, stop torturing me. I’m alone. I’ll always be alone. Please…’</em><br/>
<br/>
For just a moment, Seonghwa’s carefully placed mask fractures. His brows knit together, first in confusion and then, as the words finally register, in heartbreak. His eyes widen slightly, and his body tenses as he takes a single step forward. He hears the sharp intake of breath, hears the way Hongjoong continues to whisper softly under his breath, a fragmented string of incoherent sadness and pain. In all the years he’s known Hongjoong, he’s never seen him like this. Not after pulling him from the burning remains of the Shen Tiger. Not after Jiang Yanli’s death, when he’d fallen to his knees and let silent, tearless sobs overcome him. Not even when he finally found him again, after wandering heartbroken and defeated for 16 years. In all the years he has known and loved Hongjoong, Seonghwa has never seen him lose hope. And for the first time in his life… Seonghwa has no idea how to save him. </p><p>“Hongjoong… you are not alone.” Emotion roughens his words this time, tears cling to his lashes, hurt crushes his windpipe. </p><p>If he could, Seonghwa would take all of Hongjoong’s pain into himself. If he could, he would carry every burden, every moment of heartbreak. He would do anything. If Hongjoong asked it of him, he would fly into the heavens and catch every star in the sky. For Hongjoong, Seonghwa would give up the world in a heartbeat. But he would never ask that of him. Hongjoong, who selflessly protected others at the cost of his own safety. Hongjoong, who loved his family and friends with a bottomless wealth of love. Hongjoong, who even in the grips of his own madness, cared for those around him endlessly. For all his flaws, Hongjoong would never ask that of Seonghwa, and it’s for that reason, among a myriad of others, that Seonghwa loves him dearly. </p><p>He watches, helpless and heartbroken, as Hongjoong drops to his knees in a sudden movement that threatens to send him tumbling over the edge of the cliff. Heart in his throat, Seonghwa chokes on a cry, body stumbling forward before he can even register what he’s doing. The only thought in his head: save Hongjoong, save Hongjoong, <em> save Hongjoong </em>. </p><p>‘<em> Please… please don’t leave me. Don’t give up on me. Please don’t leave…’ </em>Hongjoong’s pleading, disjointed sobs spurn Seonghwa forward, and though every pained, raw sob sends another sheet of ice through his body, even though every second feels like it lasts an eternity, he pushes forward. He moves until he’s there, arms secure around Hongjoong’s frail form, and then he draws him back, holding the youngers shaking, trembling body against his chest. </p><p>
  <em> Hongjoong, I love you. I’m sorry I let you go… Please… don’t leave me.  </em>
</p><p>----x----</p><p>“Hongjoong, come back.”</p><p>Hongjoong’s breath catches in his throat. The sorrowful, longing note fades around him as, with trembling hands, he lets his hands drop back to his sides. His eyes widen, staring out at the world beyond the cliff he stands upon, unseeing. His fingers tremble, grasped tight around the bamboo flute, but he doesn’t turn. He can’t turn, not even for a voice that holds so much sorrow, so much pain. Not for a voice that pleads for him, begs him to take a step back, to come back... How many times has this been a trick? How many times has he seen a flash of white in the crowd, the warmth of burnished gold and the memory of a smile, only to turn and be disappointed? How many times has he called out in his dreams and nightmares, a single name on his lips, hands outstretched for the figure who never comes close enough to touch, only to wake alone and cold? </p><p>How many more times must his heart and mind be so cruel to him? </p><p>How many more times must he be made to suffer for his crimes? </p><p>His eyes scrunch closed. <em> No. No, not again. You’re not real. Please. Please just leave me alone. Alone. Alone. Just… leave me be, please. Please stop torturing me. I’m alone. I’ll always be alone. Please... </em></p><p>“...Hongjoong… you are not alone.” </p><p>There’s no way to stop the way Hongjoong flinches at the softness in the voice behind him. His entire body shakes, fingers curled so tight around his flute his knuckles have gone white from exertion. Had he been rambling out loud? Had his internal thoughts been uttered in low, fast gasps under his breath? Had he really sunk so low that he was now trying to reason and plead with his demons? Is there really anything more they can do to him at this point? He’s lost everyone he ever held dear, everyone he ever dared hope to love. His love is a curse, bringing down everyone who fell victim to it. Who is he to deserve happiness in the end? </p><p>
  <em> Jiang Fengmian. Madame Yu. Jin Zixuan. His beloved Shijie. Luli. Biyu.  </em>
</p><p>The faces of everyone he had touched with his cursed affections flash like brilliant beacons in his mind. He had brought death to everyone he met. He’d hurt those who had done nothing but love him. </p><p>How many more would be made to suffer for his selfishness? How much longer would he be plagued by nightmares and phantoms, an ever present reminder of what he could have had… what he’d pushed away in his own prideful bravado? </p><p>The first sob rips from his lungs, unexpected and broken. With it comes the tears, as if the sound had been the final straw, the final crack in the dam. Sinking to his knees, Hongjoong lets the flute fall from his grasp as he slumps, broken and defeated and <em> hurting </em>. </p><p>“P-Please… just leave me alone,” his chest hurts, emotion smothering his lungs and curling tight around his throat as he croaks out words that are watery at the edges. His head drops, body curling in on itself as he cries. “I can’t-- I can’t bear it any longer. Please… please just leave me be.” </p><p>
  <em> Please… please don’t leave me. Don’t give up on me. Please don’t leave.  </em>
</p><p>Strong arms wrap around him and pull him back against a firm chest. Almost at once, Hongjoong is enveloped in the warmth of sandalwood and clean linen, visceral and real enough that for a moment, his mind blanks. His body goes slack, allowing the figure to hold him close, long enough to feel the thunderous rhythm of a heartbeat against his back, long enough to feel the way slender, delicate fingers rest against his chest, over his own betraying heartbeat. How many months had he spent longing for this moment? How long had he curled up in the cold and wet, shivering and terrified and imagined this moment? How many nights had he spent dreaming of those arms, that voice, with the scent of sandalwood lingering even when he woke? Why? Why can’t they leave him alone? He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve the gentle way he’s being held, the soft voice that murmurs against his ear, the gentle strength in the way he’s held so close. </p><p>He never deserved Seonghwa. </p><p>Choking on a breath, Hongjoong flinches and pulls away. Tries to pull away, at least. A sharp cry spills out with the broken sobs, a hand flies up to try and knock the figure away. He tries to fight, to pull out of the grip that doesn’t loosen for even a second, tries to do anything to twist his body out of the comforting, secure, wonderfully warm hold that he doesn’t really want to pull away from. </p><p>“No. No, no, <em> nonononono </em>--” Frantic and panicking, Hongjoong struggles until finally, he catches the figure by surprise, the heel of his palm connecting with the edge of his groin. The sudden attack is enough that the grip around him loosens in shock, allowing Hongjoong the chance to scramble away, fingers curled tight in the dewy grass as his breaths turn ragged and harsh. “You’re not real. This isn’t real. Leave me alone!” </p><p>He doesn’t get far. He tries… but he doesn’t get far, vision blurred with tears, throat constricting with overwhelming, suffocating emotion. Every breath is ragged and forced, catching at the edges, crackling and wet and painful. He tries, but then there are cool fingers curling around a slender wrist, holding him firm before he’s being pulled back. </p><p>“No!” His voice cracks, the sound high, shrill, panicked, and his eyes scrunch shut as he’s pressed into the grass. </p><p>The hand remains on his wrist, hand pinned above his head, the hard length of the male’s body pressing against his to hold him still even as he struggles. </p><p>“Hongjoong, breathe.” </p><p>
  <em> No. No, you’re not real. Please, have mercy on me. Please, please… just let me rest.  </em>
</p><p>The weight remains. The long, hard lines of a body he’s more familiar with than anything else in this world remains. The fingers around his wrist loosen, gentler in their grip, tips brushing up his palm as the fingers curl between his, holding him tight, holding him carefully, holding him as if he was the most precious thing in the world. It hurts. It hurts to breathe, hurts to think. Hurts to exist. A soft, strangled cry pulls from Hongjoong’s chest as he turns his head to the side. Tears continue to spill from beneath his lashes, staining his cheeks, slipping down his temples before disappearing into his hair. </p><p>“Hongjoong, I’ve got you… Open your eyes.” </p><p>Another soft, strangled cry, and then there is a palm against his cheek, fingers curling against his jaw and a thumb brushing across the rise of a tear stained cheekbone. Hongjoong stills, breath caught in his throat. He wants so desperately to look. Wants to open his eyes and look up into bottomless pools of liquid amber. Wants to drown himself in their depth until it no longer matters where he ends and Seonghwa begins. He wants… </p><p>But if he opens his eyes everything will crumble away and he’ll be alone. </p><p>Hongjoong doesn’t expect the lips that press so softly, so carefully to his own. His chin tilts up, lips parting in a subconscious bid for any sort of human contact. He pours every ounce of his heart into the embrace, smothered by the weight of his emotions and the way warmth spreads through every inch of his awareness. </p><p>He kisses like it’s the last one he might ever have. He pours every inch of himself into this one action, this one moment. Even as his heart breaks. Even as the tears return with a fury. Even as his hands lift to settle against broad shoulders. His fingertips climb, curling into soft, silken hair, drawing him closer as he gives everything to this one moment. </p><p>If it has to come to an end… let it be on his terms. </p><p>If it has to come to an end… let him have one last moment to be happy. </p><p>Hongjoong is held as if he’s made of air, as if any moment could crumble him into pieces. He can taste the longing and the want, the overwhelming love. He can feel the rush of a fervent heartbeat against his chest, the way fingers curl tighter, twitching against his hip, in his hair, against his throat. He hears the soft exhale as, finally, they pull apart. His chest burns, head feels fuzzy and light, and his eyes sting. </p><p>A forehead touches his, soft and reassuring, and the hand holding his squeezes gently. </p><p><em> I love you. </em> The confession is a whispered thought, one spoken from his heart, uttered with a soft reverence as he hooks an arm around those broad shoulders and draws the solid form against his body. If this is to be the end, let him be selfish for a few moments more. <em> I love you like the sun loves the moon. I love you with every piece of my broken heart. </em></p><p>“...I love you, Hongjoong,” Seonghwa’s voice is a gentle caress across the curve of his lips, accompanied by the flutter of eyelashes against his own, and the alarming comfort of the hand that holds his tight. “My heart. My soulmate. My sun, my moon and my stars.” </p><p>Pain wraps tight around the fluttering beat of Hongjoong’s heart, and as another sob bubbles over his lips, he tilts his head up to press his face against the curve of Seonghwa’s neck. He loves Seonghwa more than he ever thought was possible. He wants to be selfish. He wants to hold Seonghwa close and never let him go, face the darkness of the world at his side and spend every night curled up in his arms. But every dream has to end eventually. Even the nightmares. </p><p>“Hongjoong, come back.” </p><p>Again those words, again the quiet reverence, the plea, the way Seonghwa holds him as if he’s the world and every good thing within it. All he has to do is open his eyes. Open his eyes, and Seonghwa’s warmth, his touch, the thunder of his heartbeat and the splash of hot tears against his cheeks, it will all vanish. Hongjoong’s throat tightens, fingers curling tight in soft, warm fabric as he pulls away, as a breath catches on his tongue… as his eyes open slowly. </p><p>Seonghwa stares down at him. His eyes burn with sorrow, golden edges tinged in red, tears clinging to dark lashes and slipping down pallid skin. Tears that drip from his cheeks to land on Hongjoong’s face. </p><p>He’s here. He’s real. He’s real… <em> he’s real </em>. </p><p>A hand cups Hongjoong’s cheek, warm and gentle and familiar, and with an aborted, broken laugh the younger turns his head into the touch, lips against Seonghwa’s palm. Hongjoong starts crying all over again, fat tears rolling from the corners of his eyes. For once, waking up is better than any dream. </p><p>“You’re really here, Seonghwa,” when he finally speaks, his words are watery. It hurts to speak, throat roughened by his emotional panic, but a little pain is worth every moment spent with Seonghwa. “You’re here.”</p><p>Seonghwa kisses him softly, gently, and Hongjoong melts into him, drowns in all that Seonghwa offers him, floating willingly and happily into oblivion. He feels weightless, wrung out and defenseless. There’s a subtle shift in motion, and then he’s in Seonghwa’s arms, nestled securely and safely in his lap. Almost at once he sinks forward, face pressed against the cool comfort of Seonghwa’s neck. He can’t speak, can’t even begin to formulate a coherent string of words that might somehow relay exactly how he feels. All he can do is remain there, exactly as he is, as Seonghwa’s breath caresses his temple, as strong hands smooth down the length of his spine. Somehow through it all, Seonghwa loves him. Seonghwa, the powerful and stoic Hanguang-Jun, a creature of perfection and poise and stability, loves him. Hongjoong knows he’s not worthy, but for Seonghwa, he’s willing to try. He wants to be. Wants to be worthy of his love and respect, worthy of his pride and affection. </p><p>“I thought-- I th--” Words continue to fail Hongjoong as he closes his eyes, surrounded by the ever constant protection that is Seonghwa. What words could he even offer in a situation like this, when Seonghwa had already seen all his worst parts, when he’d been so very sure he was losing his mind. “If… If this is a dream, please don’t let me wake up.”</p><p>The circle of Seonghwa’s arms tighten around him. “You are not dreaming. I am here. You are here. Hongjoong is safe.”</p><p>“Seonghwa. Seonghwa…” </p><p>“Hongjoong will always be safe.”</p><p>After sixteen years of darkness and torment, Seonghwa’s promise feels a lot like coming home.</p>
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